My name is Marcus and this my personal story about opioid abuse. I used opioids daily for more than five years and was highly addicted to pain pills. My drug of choice was oxycontin and roxicodone. However, I would abuse any form of narcotic pain medicine.
In this article I hope to briefly describe my experiences with oxycodone abuse and my ongoing recovery from opioid addiction.
I truly think I was “hooked” the first time I tried an opioid, which was a 10mg Lortab. The video at the end of this article explains how it’s possible to be addicted to opioids so quickly. I enjoyed the sudden rush of energy and found myself chasing the rush often over the next 5 years. As with all people addicted to opioids my tolerance for the drug quickly grew. I soon needed more and more painkillers to achieve the euphoric feelings and rush of energy I craved.
My opioid abuse lead to many personal problems throughout the years. As any addict will tell you, an opioid addiction is expensive. I often found myself spending money I needed to pay bills or otherwise could have used for important life events to buy pain pills.
After a short time of opioid abuse I was in financial trouble which lead to other personal problems related to my abuse of opioids. I don’t even want to know how much money I spent on prescription pills during my addiction, but I know it’s in the ten’s of thousands of dollars range.
My biggest regret in becoming addicted to opioids is the hell i put my loved ones through. I can replace the money I wasted, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to replace the trust my loved ones have lost in me. Opioid abuse nearly destroyed my marriage and even after my abuse stopped I still have to live with the consequences of my addiction to pain pills.
I lied to my family so many times trying to hide my addiction that now it’s extremely difficult for them to trust me. These things are what makes me wish I could turn back time and undue all the hurt I’ve caused my family.
How I Got My Life Back After Opioid Abuse
Through the support of my family and friends I was finally able to beat my addiction to opioids. I didn’t go to a opioid treatment center or get professional help with my addiction. The main reason’s I didn’t get professional help was because I couldn’t afford to go to a drug rehab center and most of the suboxone clinics in my area wasn’t accepting new patients. It’s very difficult to sustain a drug addiction when you don’t have any money to feed your habit.
So the first step in my recovery was simply hitting rock bottom financially and realizing If I was going to take care of my family I had to stop using opioids.
The following three months was very difficult for me dealing with opioid withdrawals and learning to live again without painkillers like oxycontin. Copied withdrawals is something you have to experience to believe, I can’t put into words how tough it was to overcome the withdrawals from oxycontin.
I was lucky (in my opinion) to have some friends who would give me a few suboxone pills to help me deal with the withdrawals. Some weeks I could get 6 or 7 suboxone pills and other weeks I couldn’t get any. As mentioned above the suboxone clinics I contacted wasn’t taking new patients so I tried to find other ways to get suboxone. I’m not recommending this to anyone because it’s dangerous to take any prescription medicine without consulting a doctor. I’m simply sharing my story of how I overcame an addiction to opioids.
The suboxone pills helped with the physical withdrawals which lasted a couple of months but the mental aspects of dealing with my addiction to opioids took far longer to overcome. I’m extremely thankful to have a supporting family who I tell people “loved me through my addiction”. They really helped me get my self esteem back and regain control of my life.
Without the support and love of my family I could have never stopped my addiction to oxycontin and other opioids.
The third aspect of my recovery was renewing my relationship with God. No I didn’t attend church every Sunday or anything like that but I did spend a lot of time praying during my withdrawals. For the first week or so I stayed in bed a lot and didn’t want to be around people. I filled my time reading the bible and praying for the strength to beat my addiction to painkillers.
I didn’t make any promises to God, I just spent time praying and reflecting on my past. At times I felt like God was listening which gave me strength and hope.
I’m certainly not suggesting anyone else follow my path to recovery, I’m simply sharing my story. If you’re addicted to oxycontin or other opioids there is help available. Weather you choose a drug rehab center or some other form of opioid treatment you can regain control of your life. I know how powerful this addiction is and recovery is not easy but I’m living proof you can beat your opioid addiction.